1. How free will might not be free, 2. What “free” could possibly mean and 3. Do I even want free will?
Maybe I don’t have free will. Maybe my life is predetermined by Gods supreme decisions and I have no say in what happens. (Do I really want or even need a say in what happens? If God has it under control, isn’t that enough?) Maybe, Free will is not my choice. Maybe, free will is an assigned choice. Maybe free will isn’t free.
If I am given a choice, then I have free will. If I am not, then I do not. So then, if I am assigned free will, and I don’t have a say in whether I get it or not, doesn’t that make me not free? If someone or something else chooses free will for me then aren’t I not free because the ultimate decision is made by someone other than myself? If I don’t get to choose whether I get free will or not, then don’t I automatically not have free will by automatically having free will? If my Mom says I am allowed to choose between spaghetti and pizza for dinner, then I do not have the freedom to choose chicken. My freedom to choose dinner only goes so far. Does free will only go as far as the spaghetti and pizza? Is free will limited to the choices pre set out by God? How is that free will? (side note: Do I really want free will if it takes me outside of decisions set in place by a loving and omnipotent God?
So many times I have wished that I didn’t have to choose between one thing and another. So many times I have wished that I didn’t have freedom to control my actions. But I think that maybe choosing not to make a choice, is still making a choice. When you make a decision to do something, you are actually also choosing not to do something. Wouldn’t the act of choosing not to have free will remove my ability to have free will? Am I assigned free will? How can I be told to be free?
If I am assigned free will, or if I am not, how in the world would it change how I live? How would the decisions I am making right now, whether I have free will, or not, change if I was living in a different world?
Does it even matter if I have free will or not? Honestly, what would it change if I suddenly knew that I had complete freedom? How would my life changes if I found out that the decisions I make are actually controlled by some feature other than myself? If I find out that to this point in my life God has controlled every action, or that my every action has been controlled purely by my own choices, how would it change my life? If I am not in control, then I can’t do anything. If I am in control then I can continue to go on doing as I have. Nothing will change either way.
If nothing will change in my life whether I believe that I have free will or not, then why would I bother to think about it at all? Why puff up my head by thinking that I can control my world, or depress my self by thinking I cannot? (It’s really not that depressing not being in control… It’s liberating!) How does it change anything? Ok, there is a huge difference between a world controlled by God, and a world controlled by man. But if nothing changes if I believe one thing or another then why continue to boggle my mind by dwelling on subjects that hurt my head?
Maybe I’m wrong, but isn’t the very nature of God, his omnipotence, power, and all encompassing knowledge? Isn’t the fact that God is in charge of the world part of what makes him God? So doesn’t it logically make sense that God is in control of the world and everyone/everything that is in the world, i.e. us? How can God be God and not be in control of us? How can he be the creator and sustainer of the world if he is in no way control over what happens in our lives? Is he just an absentee parent who checks in every once in a while but for the most part is never around? I could be wrong, but I like to think God is active in our lives. He didn’t program the world thousands of years ago and then just sit back and let it run its course. Maybe he did and I am hugely confused, but I hope not. Maybe God just doesn’t care one single bit about what we think about free will and he’s sitting in Heaven laughing.
Maybe God gave us free will. Maybe he didn’t. I will probably never know. However, I will accept whichever decision God may have made for me. I guess saying it that way makes it seem like I don’t have free will. I could say that I will choose which ever I wish and be satisfied with it and then it seems like I do have free will. Which ever I do or do not have, it doesn’t really matter. In light of eternity, my earthy squabbling against myself will come to nothing. All in all, free will discussions just make for a lot of headaches. I think that this might be one subject that I am content to more or less ignore. Unless of course, it’s up to me to decide what goes on in life, and in that case I’m screwed. Of course, if it’s up to God, then I don’t need to do anything at all. Glory day! What a mess free will has made of what I always thought was just understood. What a mess free will discussions have made in philosophy classrooms everywhere. What a mess my brain is in because of free will. Free will just gives the freedom to make a mess of my brain, freedom to make a mess of poor confused college students everywhere and the freedom to puzzle philosophers and theologians. Free will is a messy and complicated debate. I’ll leave you to figure it out for your self. As for me, as of right now at least… I’m just content to stay confused and let God handle things. J
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